I love you my darling golden shower

I promise I’ll explain the title soon.

After my hormonal/stress related panic of earlier this week, things have been lovely around the uchi. I feel guilty for getting so angsty at T about his ineptitude with bill paying, as in the future he’d be happy to turn that all over to me, Japanese-marriage style.

I mean, the guy works an 11-hour work day 6 days a week, and then comes home and makes my useless ass dinner. And not just one course; last night he came home with groceries (after texting me to see if I needed anything for my cold), and then made a 4 course meal for us.

You know what I did yesterday? I got a terrible haircut, and then went to Harajuku to get a replacement keitai charm for J’s girlfriend… on a Saturday. Saturdays in Harajuku (or Shibuya, or Shinjuku) try my patience. I inevitably want to scream “WALK FASTER” while smacking people up the back of their heads as I power by them. Then I came back to the uchi and farted around reading blogs and random internet content until T got home.

Oh wait! I did the dishes!

Sigh.

This haircut really is terrible. The owner of a nice salon did it too, while hitting on me (thanks! not that many men here like short-haired ladies)… But maybe he ought to have been paying more attention to my hair, and less to complementing my hot body. When he was done, I had a really unappealing and uneven mohawk, and he was covering me in layers of what smelled like Aqua Net hairspray. I washed my hair twice yesterday to get it out, and my hair is STILL sticky/rank smelling. Also, I walked around Harajuku looking like a D-list ’80s band member.

T, when he saw it was like: “That looks very…. boyish.” Then, in his typical J-guy way: “It’s not very attractive, is it?” I’ve gotten used to the blunt comments about appearance that people make here, the chub-grabbing/fat-shaming, and unwillingness to consider edgy looks acceptable etc. But I usually give him grief when he says anything too honest- this time I just agreed with him, to which he replied “but toss a hat over it, use enough styling wax, or just wait for it to grow out, and you’ll be fine.”

The other bit of hilarity came when he texted me “I love you my darling golden shower” on Friday evening. After sending him a bunch of those Line (smartphone App everyone loves here) stamps of characters laughing he wrote back “is that odd”? I told him I’d explain it to him when he grows up got home. And when he finally did, having been dragged to Cheers (our bar) by his guy friends, he immediately popped in the door and said:

“Is it golden shower time?”

I lost it.

Incapable of explaining it, I finally found a Japanese language page that gave a good run-through of the concept. Of course, he kept me crying with laughter the whole time by innocently (though he’d kind of guessed something was up) asking me: “Are you afraid of golden showers? Don’t you like golden showers? But it sounds so pretty.”

There’s an American who speaks no Japanese, who hangs out at Cheers all the time, and apparently he was teaching T some choice American slang. Somehow, this arose out of a conversation about how it’s “golden week” here, and if it rained that rain would therefore be a “golden shower”. At least, that’s what T managed to convey since he doesn’t understand much that the American, D, says.

I’m not sure T actually knows any English he could use in front of my parents…. on that note, I am trying to convince him to come to Houston with me when I need to head back there in September. Any advice on someone who speaks no English adapting to Houston/finding a job is more than welcome (I have some connections to the decently sized Japanese community in Houston, but still welcome.)

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2 thoughts on “I love you my darling golden shower

  1. corachaos

    Maybe Denver would be better. Sure you would need to take allergy pills to come to my house, but we have a very large and dynamic Asian community…….

    Reply
    1. matchaproblem Post author

      Houston would be first on the table because I already own a home there. Next would be wherever I get a job/post doc after that. This is all very tricky right now. Ugh.

      Reply

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